The Red Pen: Parents and Distance Learning

red pen I vividly recall numerous occasions as a young girl when I would proudly present to my Dad a paper I had written. I anxiously awaited his response, hopeful that he would “stamp” it with his approval. Instead, he would open up his desk drawer and retrieve the Red Pen.

The Pain of the Pen

After considerable time spent reading and re-reading my words and his editing marks, Dad would return my paper to me. It could easily have been mistaken for a blood-drenched piece of correspondence that had barely survived the Second World War. After Dad finished going over all of his “recommended” changes with me I often left his office in tears to re-write the masterpiece that had been mutilated before my eyes.

Character Formed

Emotions of anger, self-pity, and indignation flooded my heart and blinded me from appreciating the value of the important lesson that Dad was teaching me and the character it was forming within me.

No More Red

For years, the painful process continued as paper after paper endured the strokes of the Red Pen. And little by little my writing improved, as evidenced by the increasingly less battle-scarred papers that Dad returned to me. I knew I had “arrived” the day he gave me back a paper and said, “Very well done.” Period. I looked in astonishment at the paper before me, remarkably colorless. Not a single drop of red ink met my eye.

Passed The Test

After questioning his health and whether his supply of Red Pens had been depleted, I was satisfied that my paper really had passed Dad’s rigorous review.

To This Day

To this day, much of my writing passes first across the desk of my forbearing father. And to this day, it is often met with the ruthless Red Pen. But I can honestly say I am grateful for every mark that it makes.

What I Learned

Looking back on these experiences, I can identify at least four specific things that I have learned from them:
The end result is always better if the suggestions and criticisms of others are carefully weighed and duly implemented.
Always strive for excellence. Put in the time and effort to do the job well.
In addition to helping me improve my writing skills, Dad was doing something far more important – something that every parent must do for their children. He was driving the foolishness out of me. He was training me to receive instruction and to accept reproof and correction. Many times since, I have been in situations where others have instructed, criticized, or corrected me. Were it not for the invaluable lessons God taught me through my Dad, I am quite sure that I would have responded foolishly and missed many opportunities to learn and grow.
Dad did what was best for me in the long run despite the temporary emotional trauma it caused me. A wise and loving parent and/or teacher will do what they believe is best for their child/pupil, even if it brings temporary displeasure or dislike.

Published Author

Who would have known that the training ground of imposed writing assignments throughout my childhood would one day culminate in the publication of a book? Certainly not I! But after going through the difficult process of writing, editing, and publishing my first book, I know that the persistent instruction of my Dad contributed largely to my success.

Helpful Critics

Whether given in love (as was the case with my Dad) or harsh insensitivity, the criticism of others can be one of the most rewarding means of personal growth. While not all criticism should be taken to heart, I have found that it always serves as a tool to evaluate my own actions, attitudes, and motives, and to constantly look for ways to improve whatever project or idea I may be working on. I will be forever thankful for the Red Pen.

The Bible Agrees

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.” Proverbs 1:7-9

“He that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy.” Proverbs 29:1

Natalie Natalie Wickham is author of the book, Pajama School – stories from the life of a homeschool graduate, and producer of the CD, Journey to Self-Publishing – 12 steps to successfully publish your book. She runs an independent music studio and is the founder of MusicMattersBlog.com. Natalie is also the Director of Adventures In Character, and loves helping and inspiring others to be successful in their pursuits for the glory of God!

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1 comment so far - Leave a comment below

I too have felt the sting of "The Red Pen"...that's why my editing pens are now green!! :)

I have read an excerpt of Natalie's book "Pajama School" and she obviously gleaned great wisdom from her Heavenly Father's wise words (those printed in red)and developed skillful writing prowess under the direction of her earthly Father's suggestions (from those numerous red edits).

This is a thoughtful and encouraging article!

— Lori Clifton Tuesday, July 6, 2010 5:22 PM CDT

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